You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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