She is in my trunk
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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