he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just had sex on a roof
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
