idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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