Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I pour the whiskey from now on
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
