Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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