lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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