the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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