He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
