I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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