I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
