Just fell off a train. Bad.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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