bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
