Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I want a musical about memes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
