ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize