Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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