i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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