just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
