I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
