I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it hurts more in the daytime
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
