my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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