careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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