Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
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