why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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