You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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