Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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