Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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