I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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