so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
