I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
