Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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