i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
