but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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