He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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