Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
