Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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