He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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