and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
