The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
