I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We need to get me chipped asap
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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