If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
