im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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