If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
