Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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