Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
