I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize