If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
