So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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