Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
