i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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