I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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