But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
