i barfeds in our rink
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
