Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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