I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
