He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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