that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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