Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
